i'm not dead.  i am just in lots of pain, where the amount of pain can be defined by:

amt of pain = (no life)(amt of hmwk) ^ x, where x = amt of time spent on hmwk.

happy holidays, and i hope karl marx eats your soul.

slice.  dice.  my arm!  blood.  whee.

no, luke...[wheeze]...i am...[wheeze. hack. cough.]...your surrogate father!
buaha haha haha! [wheeze. choke.] gah...
(because anything else would be biologically impossible.)

hee hee. ouch.  whee.

one day the atmosphere will take over the world and drown all butterflies in the ozone layer while birdies and rainbows start the new reign of terror on behalf of clouding the cool.  

if you understood that, i pity you.  yes, that's right, it's time to run far far away...

and no, contrary to popular belief, my grammar is not deteriorating.  it never existed.

mccarthy x cohn.  "true love forever" doesn't only exist for spanish II students.

or rather, mccarthy x cohn:  freaking out the public since two weeks ago.  there's no better use for history than making fun of it.

playing "united nations" in basketball is no fun.  apparently, no one wants to make peace.  it's quite sad, really.

so we've created the "un-united nations", dedicated to promoting violence and world wars.  and apparently, no one wants that either.  how very strange.  

with a new year comes a new death list.  how would you like to die, andrew niccol from gattaca?

buaha ha.  don't look at me like that.  huck twain and mark sawyer are cooler than you've ever thought before. 

blood.  blood.  BLOOD.

must.  not.  kill.  anymore.  goons.  must.  refrain.  from.  wasting.  dum-dum bullets.  must.  stop.  doodling.  pictures.  of.  ak-47.  assault.  rifles.  

must stop playing nolf and warcraft III and killing all the innocent monkeys and sheep and watching them bleed to death!

gah.  this is hard.  and it doesn't help that all the wicked cool characters "come to unfitting resolutions", so to speak.

current death list:
dan brown.  blizzard entertainment.  jk rowling.